Funny

Late last night I was tossing and turning about on my bed when the Maharashtra State Electricity Board (MSEB or COCKS) decided that the peaceful neighbourhood of Nerul had had enough comfort. So they decided to withdraw their services from here. And then forget about us. So us peaceful citizens spent the night in the "mild" heat knowing fully well that we couldn't anger the good COCKS. They are god's children after all. And we deserve it for being a crap area.

Last night was also the night that my neighbour, a rather fiesty and large Bengali woman chose to maul her husband. The mauling started in the bedroom. Evidently from what I heard after, the ritual was not quite what the large bengali woman had in mind. She then proceeded to yell at her mate for half an hour. The hours from 1:20-2:00 in the morning were a veritable cornocopia of sounds. And I couldnt sleep.

I finally did get a couple of hours of sleep and I ended up awakening late.

Now there is only one thing I look forward to in the morning. The tiny bit of pleasure that I derive from a breakfast of Papaya and Cornflakes with Cold Milk. It gets rather irritating if the milk isn't cold. And it wasnt. Harrumphing my way out of the house, I realised that the boffins in the head COCK office still hadn't conceded to the lowly Nerul residents wishes and restarted the supply of Electricity to all the shanties. This meant a walk down the 8 flights of stairs.

I was on the 3rd floor when I stopped to check for my effects. They were all there but it couldnt be that easy. My phone was out of charge and so up I went again (still late) to fetch the charger. When I finally was in order, I hitched a ride with a motorcyclist to the bus stop. I knew I was late. I knew I had a chance at missing the bus. I knew I did not want to do so. The prospect of heading to office any other way when the office is in the next district is not appealing. And after my fantastic moring, I was not inclined.

I caught the bus as it was pulling away and I then settled down to the second peaceful activity of the morning. Reading the rot that the Times of India chooses to publish everyday. So I read with appropriate amounts of salivation of how Akshay Kumar is now the highest taxpayer in Bollywood and how the Mumbai High Court (bastion of sensible judiciary) saved a 65-year old marriage from a divorce. Both on the front page.

My morning looked set when Mr. X sat down next to me on the bus. I don't particularly like Mr. X. He wears "cooling glasses" inside the bus, talks loudly in his local language (my particular pick is when he responds to someone calling him by as loud a "BOLAAAA" as he can manage). Mr. X also happens to be my boss.

I endured the hour and a half trip to the district of Raighad with Mr. X next to me passing appropriate comments of how his state is the best state in the world and how his kind hate everyone else from everywhere else, particularly from the deep north and deep south of this country.

The bus finally reached Mumbai Industrial Development Corporation (MIDC) (DICKS who are the distant relatives to the COCKS) Taloja where the good, bad and ugly industries set their plants up to keep this country thriving.

Mr. X tried getting off the bus first as we were sitting right in front. I say tried, because as he was about to, he mysteriously tripped and fell out of the bus. He seemed rather distraught by the turn of events and for 2 seconds, no one did everything.

After those 2 seconds, people tried rushing off the bus to save Mr. X from the ignominy of being on the ground. 

I had slipped out in the ensuing melee.

All this while there is only one line in my head.

Those dicks are all cocks. 

Now I see the funny side of it. Now I'm always smiling.